The truth between romance and Love lies between the myths and facts about them. Finding that romance and Love are equal and not equal at the same time is confounding, but the foremost step is to realize that they are both. Romance and Love are equal to remind us that they are not. It is a dynamic of opposite: when the myth exists, the fact is found on the other side of the coin. Truth, on the other hand, is the coin itself.
This truth, Romance slash Love, is both a thin line that separates the respective domains of Romance and Love, and a blurred line that makes them similar and the same. They are different in terms of source and outcomes, and they are the same in terms of experience. These characteristics make them both interchangeable concepts that defines our exclusive form of human relationship between lovers.
The first truth is Romance is an outer experience. Romance is an external, social process existing in the domain of our common culture. It is often a tool or a ritual with which we can demonstrate our connectedness with the other human being. We connect with others because this is our human impulse for union, our seeking for the experience of Love. We use Romance as a means to attain Love. But the search of Love outside ourselves is a futile attempt.
We are enamored by the imperfections of Romance because they help us to describe Love’s mysterious perfection.
Love is a state of perfection that nothing in the outer physical world can best embody. At the very least, our worldy existence uses innumerable symbols to interpret what is always ineffable and intangible. Romance is an imperfect symbol through which Love can be expressed. A man who gives flowers and gifts to a woman uses these objects, and doing the act of giving them as a romantic symbol so that he can show her that he Loves her. But even in the absence of flowers and gifts, he still devotes himself with conviction and deep feeling of Love for the other. To assert his inner experience, he has to symbolize it. Thus, Romance gives the symbolic ways.
The second truth is Love is an inner experience. By this truth, we can see the contrast between seeking and finding Love. By seeking, the notion that we do not have Love and that we must search for it from others. By finding, Love is present within us. Our sense of lack of Love comes not from lack but from the perception that we lack Love. It is in finding Love that we discover that the source of Love is inside everyone of us, that there is never a time when we lack Love.
Love never depletes from the source within us, so there is no need to seek it outside. In its fullness, Love is a perfect essence. But Love seems imperfect because it cannot be easily articulated or proven in the material domain, except through Love’s symbols, and one of them is Romance. We are enamored by the imperfections of Romance because they help us to describe Love’s mysterious perfection.
Romance and Love both trigger us the experience of wholeness of life, of interconnectedness with others and of empowered choice of Loving and being Loved. However, Romance comes from the symbols and behaviors of external culture and defined ways of communicating with others, all of which do not last. Love comes from a very deep core of our being, so infinite that even the word infinite is not fit to describe it. Love surely lasts. Only the wisdom that discerns the difference between Romance and Love, along with seeing their myths and facts can make their dynamics a universal truth that allows us to have a deeper, sacred Loving experience.